Tag Archives: “Bunk” Edwards

Imperfect Day

Imperfect Day

All of the signs pointed to this game being just another day at the ballpark for Hank James. They were at home again, and he and Mickey Danz could take some time understanding what they had seen Mankato relief pitcher Alan Carpenter doing out in amongst the trees. They were playing the Rochester Radiation, a team financed by wealthy Rochester doctors and populated by numbingly average players who were playing at exactly the level of baseball they should be. The only thing remotely interesting about the Rochester team was that a few of the players, including ace pitcher Ernest Barron, had been highly regarded pro prospects who suffered injuries the Rochester doctors thought they could fix.

Hank wasn’t even upset when he saw the HooseCow ticket takers asking patrons to sign a “waiver” stating the fan is aware every member of the HooseCows team had a criminal history. It was someone’s way of trying to sell tickets. The money guys in Rochester were probably worried the Waterloo/Cedar Falls area would still be mourning the disappearance of their minor league affiliate, the Waterloo Diamonds, and then boycott the HooseCows unless they had a scandalous reason to pay attention. Having played ball with the team for over a month, Hank knew most of the players had just had trouble with drugs or alcohol at some point, gotten in trouble, and were now trying to get past it. Some had no criminal background at all; aging, crime-free pitcher Fred Duchess had been instructed to tell people he was guilty of “robbing Father Time,” and barely mediocre center fielder Tommy O’Leary delighted in telling the girls he was guilty of “being drop-dead gorgeous.”

Hank was comfortable with the entire team as they prepared for the night’s game against the Radiation. He was getting more convinced that Coach Nickles was just a nervous old man, and that none of the players were killers at all. That said, he still didn’t trust Drew Holland, and found he was the only player on the team he wouldn’t choose to be around when he wasn’t playing. The only thing that made Hank James nervous in the locker room was the old baseball he had gotten from the the spectral child that night at the playground. He kept it in his locker, wrapped up in a towel.

Hank was absolutely cheerful when he got to the dugout and heard the announcers call his name. There were some boos in the crowd, but they were friendly. It seemed as if the HooseCows were professional wrestlers more than ballplayers. Thinking this, Hank looked down along the stands and saw their mascot, Babe Mooth, acting tougher than a mascot should act. When they left the dugout to take the field, there was no frightening organ music to worm inside his head.

It was someone odd when Hank noticed “Bunk” Edwards slump down in the bullpen. Relievers should pay attention to the action on the field, but “Bunk” was barely human in his social skills. “Bunk” smelled like he was begging people to stay at least ten feet away, and if a player braved the stench, one of “Bunk’s” never ending stories about growing up in Texas would drive them away next. Even with the HooseCows short on pitchers since T.S. Wilson up and left them, “Bunk” rarely got into games. Maybe he was just giving up.

The HooseCows won a 3-2 ballgame and everyone went in to laugh and shower. Hank hadn’t quite made it to shower before he realized “Bunk” still wasn’t in the locker room. Hank’s mouth went dry, and all of the imperfections of his nearly perfect day returned to him in one moment. He slid back into his uniform pants and, bare-chested, he ran back to the field because he had to see.

The reliever was still motionless in the dugout, his elbows on his upper thighs and his cap pulled down. As Hank ran across the field, ignoring the few fans lazily trickling out of the stadium,, he was able to see the dark pool of fluid growing on the bleacher seat his feet were resting on. A stadium usher was standing near the bullpen. The old man was looking at the unmoving relief pitcher and shuffling his feet. The usher then looked to Hank James and relaxed, because he somehow thought Hank James would have some idea of what to do.

Hank got to the bullpen and pushed his way through the chain-link door. He yelled for the usher to get the cops, and the usher jogged a few paces down the bleachers to shout at another usher, who then went for the cops. Hank sat down next to the man he had not minded, but had never liked, and realized he was the first person to find him dead.

“Is he . . .” John Todd asked Hank James. He had noticed the big infielder leaving the locker room, and then he had gone out to see if he could help. Todd looked shaky, like he might pass out.

“I think so,” Hank said. He almost wished crazy Mickey Danz was out there, too. Except Mickey didn’t do as well with the real things that weren’t ghosts going bump in the night.

Careful not to touch the body, Hank peered under the chin of the dead man in front of him. The man’s face was blue, and his tongue was thick and protruding from his mouth. The blood pooling on the floor came from painful-looking wounds where “Bunk” had bitten his own tongue. Bitterly, Hank wondered if, when the man was convulsing and dying, his teammates and the bullpen chalked it up as just another way “Bunk” found to be obnoxious. Hank sat next to the body, and John Todd sat down on the other side. Together, they waited for the cops, and Hank wondered why bad luck was allowed to happen on good day.

Then, Hank saw John Todd sneak “Bunk’s” tin of chewing tobacco, take it from the dead man’s back pocket, and put it in his own. At that moment, Hank stopped thinking about luck all together.

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Back in This Favored Land

Despite losing a potential player to an unsolved crime and finding a dead body outside fo their stadium, The Cedar Falls HooseCows have begun their season under the guidance of Manager Taylor Nickles. The team set the tone in Rochester, MN, when Hank James’s hitting took off (and he accidentally critically injured an organist with a foul ball). The HooseCows survived a series with the brutish, backwoods Mason City Ugly Birds. Pitcher Mickey Danz continues to obsess about the spectral children he sees at games, and sometimes Hank James sees them, too.

 

Back in This Favored Land

The first home game of the HooseCows was fortunate enough to end up with the perfect situation. Their best hitter, and growing media sensation, Hank “Tombstone” James was at the plate. The fans were on their feet, because “Tombstone” had already hit two homers in three previous at-bats. There weren’t more than two thousand of them present at the game, but they were trying to make up for it by being very loud. On the mound for the Mankato Man-Pigs was Allan Carpenter, and he hadn’t blown a save all year.

Things had not started out that poetically. The HooseCows had not dressed until the last possible second because the locker room toilet was busted. Therefore, they had to go out and walk past the few fans that had trickled in early to do their business. A couple of the guys with big league experience asked Taylor where their food was, and the coach just nodded at an old loaf of bread, some peanut butter, and some jelly sitting on a card table. A few teased Hank about a local TV station that was going to interview him, or commented on the black and white picture of a tombstone on his locker.

“It really says your name?” Rick Newton asked him.

“That’s even my birthday,” Hank replied. “I just found it when I was out taking my pictures.”

Rick shook his head and patted the ballplayer on the back.

“You’re never going to shake that nickname like this. You know that, right?”

When the HooseCows made it up to the dugout for their big introductions, the pregame entertainment was still tearing down their make-shift stage in the outfield. It was a 50s and 60s cover band who did church shows on Sundays and commercial jingles other times, to make ends meet. They were awful, but everyone in town had heard of them. Their equipment, and the boards they had used as a stage, was tearing chunks out of the outfield grass. Taylor Nickles swore loudly and kicked the cement behind the players’ bench. He wasn’t responsible for anything but the baseball team, and he hated what was being done to his field.

The most annoying surprise of the opening ceremony was the introduction of Babe Moo-th, the HooseCows mascot. Someone (again, definitely not Taylor Nickles) had hired a theater major from the college to put on a giant cow outfit. Somehow, this person did not realize mascots were supposed to be family friendly, and instead flexed and gestured like a professional wrestler. Babe Moo-th pointed at fans who taunted him and acted like he was going to put them in a headlock and smash their face in. Once, Hank caught the mascot nearly mimicking slitting a throat before he thought better of it and mimed blowing a giant, sarcastic kiss at the chubby high school boy in front of him.

Fortunately, after all the hoopla and in spite of the smaller venue, the game of baseball was still the same as it always was. After six innings, the Hoosecows led four runs to one. Three of these runs came from Hank, in the form of a 1 and then 2 run home run. Later, on little rest, Bunk Edwards came into the game for the HooseCows and coughed up a 4 runs in two innings. There wasn’t much Coach Nickles could do about that. Since T.S. Wilson had completely disappeared after their first game, the HooseCows didn’t have much depth in their bullpen. The game wore on and then it was the ninth inning, and the HooseCows were still down by one. The first two outs came fast, and then it was Hank’s turn.

Hank’s body was alive with nerves he had missed after baseball had drummed him out for using drugs he had never in his life touched. He kept his chin up and strong and he glances out from under his helmet. All of his teammates were on their feet, leaning on the rail. Some saw his gaze and clapped for him, nodding to let him know they were watching and waiting. The only one who did not stand was Mickey Danz, who stayed on the bench and looked straight at the ground. Hank wasn’t surprised; after Mickey got into all that trouble in Manly, Taylor Nickles had been all over him. Hank wondered how much spirit the young pitcher had left.

Hank stepped in the batter’s box and tapped his bat on the outer corner of the plate. He looked up to see the Man-Pigs in their places. The infielders were intent, pounding their gloves and shifting their weight in readiness. The pitcher, Alan Carpenter, looked tall and calm on the mound. He had a beard that must have held in every degree of the summer heat, even into the night and late in the game. His shoulders slumped unevenly. For a moment, Hank let his ego get the better of him and he wondered if the pitcher had already given up. Then, Hank pushed that thought from his mind. There was something alive in Alan’s eyes. He searched for what it could be, and decided the relief pitcher looked wise beyond his years.

Hank got into his stance and waited. Carpenter pivoted and extended his front leg. Then, from behind him, the umpire called out “strike one” and the crowd became quieter. The air seemed thicker, and it seemed to smell worse, like the outdoor air had been replaced with smoky factory filth. Hank stepped out of the batter’s box and tried not to panic.

Hank had not seen the ball, and this was not an exaggeration. His first reaction had been that the pitcher had tried some lame trick move to deke him out, but then the umpire had called the strike. He kept his head up and his jaw clenched, but when he looked in the eyes of the two men who had faced Carpenter before him, he knew they had the same problem.

On the next pitch, he simply swung his bat where he thought the ball should be and let go with everything he had. Nothing. He heard the umpire call “strike two” and the crowd started clapping, but this time to show they still supported the team. Even the crowd knew Hank was about to strike out. He looked to the dugout, and he could see it in everyone’s eyes.

Without any other ideas, Hank took the last pitch and got called out, looking, on strikes. He hadn’t seen anything, not even a flash of white. The fans were hurrying to get their stuff together, and half of the HooseCows were back in the locker room. Taylor Nickles just shook his head slowly, because he didn’t care if Hank saw how ashamed he was.

As Hank left the field, he saw Alan Carpenter leaving the mound. The thin pitcher had one hand cupped over his face like he was a murderer hiding from television cameras. Watching him leave, Hank remembered his first thought about Alan’s eyes had not been that they were wise. He had thought the reliever was about to cry.

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